Complete and Utter Zebu

Zebuisms

We’re looking for inventive uses of the word “Zebu”. The best we receive will win copies of the book. You can also try us with Zebu poetry and prose if you like, though we don’t promise to publish it.

Zebu farmer. Someone who’s such a bullshitter, they could fertilise an entire farm.

Gazebu. A company that consistently misleads the public. Ryanair is a classic gazebu (see Complete and Utter Zebu, p.134).

Zebuzer. A mate who, under the influence of alcohol, insists that everything he has read on the internet is true.

Zeboobs. Breasts that have been artificially enhanced, not surgically but in Photoshop (see Complete and Utter Zebu, p.4).

Zebrew. Someone who keeps kosher at home but eats bacon sandwiches when they go out.

Zebullion. The state of losing riches almost within your grasp when you only meant to blow the bloody doors off.

Zebooker. A publisher who prints “long-listed for the Booker prize” on a book that wasn’t good enough to be short-listed.

Zeboomerang. The Australian you met backpacking on holiday who thought you meant it when you told him to look you up if he was ever in the UK.

Zebooboo. Yogi Bear’s other, much shyer, friend.