Complete and Utter Zebu

Not all instances of deception in modern society make us despair of our fellow man. Sometimes pulling a fast one can be positively applauded, which is why, in Complete and Utter Zebu, we devoted a section to the naming of racehorses. For it is a long-established tradition among owners to try to come up with embarrassing names that will leave the commentators with egg all over their faces.

The Jockey Club and now Weatherbys, who vet the names, have to be alert. But they are not infallible. There are plenty of examples of horses with double-entendre names which have run races over the years. Among those in the book are such proud steeds as Noble Locks and Katchit. To the best of our knowledge, there have been at least three horses with the delightful name Hoof Hearted, one of them apparently still a feature of South African racetracks.

If you need a pick-me-up, do watch this video of an American horse of that name racing in 1989, with the commentator getting ever more excited as the animal in question nears the finishing line, concluding with the immortal words: “Hoof Hearted in the winner’s circle.” And yes, this is genuine.

Other posts:
You won’t believe how they got the figure for the numbers of CCTV cameras in Britain
Christmas carols – from a Health and Safety perspective
The wine label that breaks the law – by telling the truth