Complete and Utter Zebu

Zebu Organization of the Year
What else could it be but the House of Commons, the high reputation of which has been brought low by the Expenses’ Scandal? It’s as if our 646 MPs lined up their feet and took aim at them with shotguns. What is most disgraceful is not the claims that have been made, but the strenuous attempt made by the House of Commons collectively to prevent the public ever finding out the truth. In a story that seems almost forgotten now, they bullied Elizabeth Filkin out of her job while, more recently, the head of the senior pay body admitted that he’d been warned off investigating expenses.

What’s more, while many MPs caught with their hands in our pockets have claimed to have acted within the rules, there are other, more serious rules about the behaviour of MPs and bringing the House into disrepute that one could argue most of them have broken. And now some of them have the chutzpah to claim that the Bill of Rights gives them Parliamentary privilege.

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about the whole affair is that there have been no riots or public unrest of almost any kind. Surely the very least they deserve is the receipt of some overripe fruit.

Zebu in the Media
Much as we may love Google for the good things it has brought us (and the months of our life it has stolen from us in pointless but enjoyable searches), its craven attitude towards China makes even Sinophile John Prescott look shy. This is best encapsulated in the blood-chillingly different Google search results “Tiananmen Square Protest“, depending on whether you’re within China or outside it.

Zebu Farmer of the Year
What good is a politician who can’t lie? Hillary Clinton seems to have trouble distinguishing reality and fantasy, even when it concerns herself. As well as the famous Bosnian incident, when the “sniper fire” that kept her pinned down was utterly illusory, there have been many other fantasy Hillary incidents. Most recently, she addressed the Northern Ireland Assembly and, once again, reinvented the past.

Shocking Zebu
For those concerned about the intrusion of cctv into our daily lives, the screen grab of a live feed from one of Transport for London’s traffic cameras was something of an eye-opener, given that the camera was pointing into somebody’s bedroom. Our complaint to the Mayor of London has, so far, gone unanswered.

Dictionary of Deceit
“Fresh”, as defined by Pret a Manger, applied to frozen sushi imported from Chile. In fact, it wasn’t just described as “fresh”, but as “spankingly fresh”. That isn’t, perhaps, “fresh” as most of us might think of it.

Bizarre Zebu
We’re often told there are 4.2 million cctv cameras in the UK. How they arrived at that number, eight years ago, is mind-bogglingly bizarre.

Funny Zebu
Some Zebu can only be admired. That’s the case with the double entendre (or sometimes single entendre) racehorse names which owners try to sneak past the authorities. Occasionally they succeed and it’s hard not to smile when you see the video of one of these, Hoof Hearted, romping home to pride of place in the winners’ enclosure.