Complete and Utter Zebu

The millions of people who take ginkgo biloba to keep their memory sharp are wasting their money, according to a new study.

Holland and Barrett claim that, “Gingko biloba is one of the oldest living tree species, dating back to over 300 million years. Ginkgo helps to maintain memory with age decline and to preserve cognitive function.” Nature’s Best, who sell it online, say: “Studies show that it may help to maintain memory in the short term. It is also thought to help cold hands and feet.”

“Bollocks”, says a new study published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association). “Compared with placebo, the use of ginkgo biloba, 120 milligrams twice daily, did not result in less cognitive decline in older adults.” The study, the largest ever mounted, examined results from over 3,000 adults aged from 72 to 96 over a period of six years. It found no difference between those taking ginkgo and placebos when it came to memory, attention, language or indeed anything else. Steven DeKosky, Dean of the University of Virginia School of Medicine, admitted: “We’re a bit surprised (it) is as ineffective as it turned out to be.”

Ginkgo is notoriously expensive. Suffering from too many of those “on the tip of my tongue” moments, I gave it a whirl some time ago and was gullible enough to be suckered in by the sort of claim made by Holland and Barrett: “If you are trying ginkgo for the first time it is important to use a high strength product as low strength products will produce disappointing results.” So I did, spluttering with surprise as I handed over what seemed an inordinate amount of cash.

When the bottle ran out, I realised that I still didn’t know how to spell “ginkgo” without consulting a dictionary. So I gave up and started doing Sudoku instead. I can’t say they have made my memory any sharper, but at least they come free with the daily newspaper.

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The wine label that breaks the law – by telling the truth

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